Hi all!
To my loyal four readers: thank you. It means so much to me! I have never had troubles making friends on Earth, but it seems getting blog readers ain't so easy.
On with the questions!
This is neither here nor there, but Katie wonders about my number one fan, Michael, and why he asks so many questions... She's concerned about his intentions. I certainly don't, as he keeps me busy!
Anyway, on to Shimmeron: First thing I recommend catching a game of Shimmeron Spaceball. Did you know I invented the game? True story. It's much like baseball on Earth, only you use a lightning rod for a bat, and a Shimmeroid for a ball! Seven days is a long time. You seem outdoorsy, so I recommend you hit up the Shimmeron Observatory. You Earthlings think your observatories are so great, because they might have a telescope that can see bits and pieces of other galaxies. Just wait 'til you see our technology! Here is a recommended itinerary:
Day 1: Make sure you start by eating some delicious space dogs, and catch a game of Spaceball (these games last about 7 hours)
Day 2: Go to the observatory, making sure you smell good. You may get lucky under the stars...
Day 3: Catch a 4-D movie. It's like your puny Earth 3-D, but as you guessed, better.
Day 4: Explore the Ruins of Shimmeribia. It's an ancient civilization that somewhat resembles America in the 1950s.
Day 5: Take a spa day, and get some nookie. I recommend you find a spa with a Buffatron bed.
Day 6: Drive the Shimmeron Coastal Highway in a star-powered autoship.
Day 7: Catch another game of Spaceball. What can I say, it's the greatest game ever invented!
You also asked about transportation. Well, Katie, there's really only one way to get to Shimmeron: and that's with a star-powered autoship. Unfortunately, there is only one currently running on Earth... and it's mine. So you will have to find a way to catch a ride with me. Before we go, make sure your Shimmeron Travel kit: star-filled map, Galactic passport, dazzling jewelry, and Dramamine.
First-time writer Dustin writes in with a very cerebral series of questions: Who are you voting for this November, assuming you have gotten US citizenship? And what do you think of the candidates?
Well, first thing: it was unsafe for Dustin to assume I have US citizenship. The US government doesn't even want to let Mexicans and Canadians in because they might be terrorists. So how do you think they feel about poor Tom Comet here? Not good... I am staying here on a work visa (as you may know, I am a fluffer for Fetus in Fetu Productions).
So, if I were to vote, my vote would go to me! That's correct, I would write myself in. America needs change, and Tom Comet is the man to do it!
As for the US presidential race, I feel a bit of kinship to John McCain: we both have limited mobility of our arms. But that's all we have in common. As for Barack Obama, I think he needs a flashier wardrobe, but I agree with a lot of what he says.
That's all for now... keep those questions coming!
2 comments:
Thanks for all the advice, Tom! It sounds like going to Shimmeron would be an amazing adventure. I'm going to start looking for jewelry tomorrow.
But maybe I should focus on that inter galactic passport first. Can you provide some advice on how an Earthling can apply for one?
Hi Tom,
Great advice, all of it.
So you probably get this a lot, but I'm wondering who would win in a three-legged race between Barack and Michelle Obama and John and Cindy McCain? And do you think that is a good basis for choosing the next president? BTW: How do they choose presidents on Shimmeron?
As always, I look forward to your sage advice.
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